| Astrologically Speaking · South Node Leo, North Node Aquarius | ||||||||
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Hola, amor. You know that second right before you walk out in front of people. Could be a stage, could be a mic, could be a room where you’re about to say the thing. Your eyes go to the seats and they look for one face. One. And whatever that face does in the next three seconds decides how the whole night feels in your body. I know that second very well. I grew up in it. |
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The face you look for in the seatsI did theater all through high school in Florida. I got the lead roles, I got all of those things, and I wanted them badly. I wanted to be the star of the show. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be witnessed. And I understand now why it mattered so much. I was a queer kid, and that theater group was the one place I got witnessed the way I was not witnessed at home. It healed something in me. It was refuge.
On the nights I didn’t get seen in my most light, I attacked myself. Not talented enough. Not good enough. The whole night collapsed into me, and I didn’t even notice that was strange, because being seen was the only thing I was measuring. |
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Nobody claps for the sound guyYears later I was doing theater in New York, and this is where the story turns, because I finally looked around the building. There’s set design. There’s sound. There’s front of house. There’s somebody on the lights, somebody at the ticket window, somebody sweeping the stage after everyone has gone home. All of those roles come together to put on this very Leo show, and none of them get the bow. And if the sound designer decides one night, actually, no, I don’t feel like it, the show falls apart in its most Leo presentation. The star cannot save it. The star doesn’t even know what went wrong. There are no small parts. Only small players. I’d heard that line a hundred times as a kid and thought it was something you say to the kid who didn’t get cast. It’s the opposite. It’s a description of how anything worth watching actually gets made. |
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Who’s running your lights?That’s the question I can’t put down this year, and I mean it in both directions. Who is holding you up that you’ve never once looked at? The person who covers the shift. The one who keeps the group chat alive when you go quiet. Somebody is running your lights, and the Leo in all of us is built to look at the seats and never at the booth. And the other direction. Whose lights are you running? Where in your life are you the sound guy, showing up on the night you don’t feel like it, and does anybody know? I’ll go first. I make my living on a platform. Sometimes I call it being an influenzaer, cuz it can make people sick. And my earlier content had quite a bit of the look at me in it, quite a bit of the guru. So I ask myself the sound guy question about my own rooms now. Is the power in the rooms I hold trickling down to the people in them, or am I just the look at me? In a day and age where literally anybody can be handed a platform, how you hold it is the whole responsibility. This exploration power and influence feels like the aquarian way... |
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It’s our assignment, all of us, right nowOn July 26 the nodes crossed into Leo and Aquarius, and they stay there about 18 months. For me that’s a nodal return, my own natal axis lit up by transit, so I’m writing this from inside the same thing you’re in. Leo asks, who am I in this world? Aquarius asks, who are WE in this world? Aquari-US. Emphasis on the us. And the easy read of a Leo south node is that the hunger is the ego and the ego has to die. I don’t believe that. I don’t believe collectivism is the severing of individualism. It is healthy to care what others think of us, that’s part of being in a cast at all. It’s unhealthy when we let their point of view tell us who we are. |
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| Aquarius is all of us shining in our own individuated Leo light, and together that makes a collective. | ||||||||
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Jupiter has been in Leo since June 30, and I take that as permission. Sit down with your inner child and ask it, what do you want to do? What do you find joy in making? Then, and this is the part the nodes are adding this year, look around the building. Who does that joy serve? Where does it fit in a show bigger than you? |
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Something to do before the next showTwo small things this week. Find one person who’s been running your lights and tell them you saw it. Say it plainly, no big speech. And find one place where you’re the crew and nobody knows, and let that be enough for one night. Watch what your Leo does with that. The watching is the practice. I still want the lead. I’m not going to pretend I don’t, and I don’t think I’m supposed to stop. What changed is what I think the lead is for.
If you want to see where the nodes fall in YOUR chart, that is the work I have consistently found the most rewarding and the most challenging. A Soul Session is an hour, your chart on the table, and we break down your north and south node together.
Button acting weird? Use this link: colormecrazy.world/soul-session |
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Bueno. Thank you for being here. Los amo. DanĂel |
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P.S. This came out of a conversation with Dabney on the Lawless Astrology channel about the nodes and what’s dying and what’s beginning.
THE FALL OF HIERARCHY: Leo and Aquarius Nodal Axis with DanĂel ColĂłn |
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